Thanksgiving

Elder Norris and his companion, Elder Ehlers

Ehlers and Norris

The Animal Farm

Well another week has come gone and I've kept on keepin' on. Not a whole lot is new, unfortunately. I am keeping very warm. McDonald's LOVES Elder Norris and I, particularly because we eat there ALL the time (like 6 times a week) and because of my stupid burger, we've managed to build a decent relationship with their crew. I order the formerly renamed "Animal Farm". I order a double cheeseburger with ketchup only, bacon, and a chicken patty on that. So now you've got the chicken, cow, and pig existing harmoniously as a sandwich on it's way to my inhabit my bowels. For the first several times I ordered it, McMoron had to have the manager show them how to put it into the computer because I guess "Animal Farm" is not a preexisting option. But now they'll punch my order in when they see us walk through the door because they've done it so much. There's an elder or two plus a few members who have adopted my idea so now I've begun a trend!

 

And then there's a fellow by the name of Don M. who is our newest alligator. For the first 4 or 5 weeks of being in this area, there's a street we drive down every day and there was this guy in his yard who would say hello to us every time we passed. We'd always wave back but we never stopped because we'd be in a hurry to get somewhere. Finally we stopped and talked with him and as it turns out, he's unconsciously been waiting for us to find him, befriend him, convert him, and baptize him. He said his eyesight was almost completely gone and all he really does for entertainment is read books. On that note, we offered him a copy of the Good Book and he said he'd read it! He's been a fishing gear salesman and inventor for the past 50 someodd years and our first visit was spent being taught about all the different oddsnends you can buy to make fishing a much more gooder experience. He's very sociable and friendly and really a neat guy! He hasn't ever really had a lot of religion in his life, which is kinda good because it'll illuminate our message so much more.

 

There was one day last week we went by to help him out with some yardwork he's had on his list. He's got a back problem so he couldn't do it on his own. After that had been done, he told us he'd be going to the doctor the next day to get an MRI and a general checkup to find out just why the heck he can't feel anything from the waist down. So, stepping out on a limb of faith, I asked if he would like a priesthood blessing. I was kinda apprehensive - for obvious reasons: he didn't know nothin' about Mormons - but after I finally spit it out, I dug up some confidence and faith and put it on the table. He said, "Sure! Figure it wouldn't hurt to try." It was clear he didn't understand exactly what it meant, not to mention the deal with the oil and the laying on of hands, and so I gave him the abbreviated Cliffnotes rundown of the priesthood and how it works. And so we blessed him and then went on our way. We visited again a couple of days later and asked him how it went. He said they'd found out he's got a couple of compressed disks in his back - which explained the difficulty walking around and bending over - but, oddly enough, that blessing we gave him helped out quite a bit! He said he's not quite ready to run a marathon but that blessing appeared to help exponentially.

 

This past weekend was "The Testimony of the Believers". The Meridian West Stake had been planning this shindig for the past year or so. It was a stake choir musical performance, followed by presentations from each of the 8 wards in the stake. Each ward had prepared a short Mormon Message-format home video on DVD telling the story of a member in their ward who had overcome life's obstacles by faith in the church. The object of the function was to teach nonmembers more about our church. Flyers were posted all around town, members invited nonmember friends, and a whole lotta efforts were put towards exposing those darn Mormons for the good-natured, fun-loving folks they really are. It was the nights of Friday and Saturday the 18th and 19th and we had a fairly decent turnout! Don attended - thanks to his neighbors and fellowshippers, the Hernandez family - as well as a handful of other alligators and less active members. It was a beautiful thing.

 

In closing, add "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen to your reading list. Unfreakingbelievable.

 

May the Force be with us all...

 

Elder Tay

HAOO AR U DOOEG

Mom,

 

So I got that jacket, the 100% wool, all bull, no crap, stay warm after global warming hits jacket and it's the bomb niggidy. For shizzle my nizzle (say it like you're white - pronounce the r's and the l's - it sounds funny). It keeps me warmer than any woman ever has - except for you - and looks really, really sexy.

 

Oh! I've been meaning to tell you about sister Juli Hernandez. Her husband, Dave, is the stake high councilman over missionary work and they're in our ward also - Ten Mile - so we do see them a lot. I've told her this but she reminds me SO much of you. She's got very much the same personality as you. She's super sweet and smart and takes good care of us AND she puts up with about as much crap and lets herself get pushed around as much as you do. Yeah. A very strict NO BULL at all policy. She keeps us in line. I guess her dad was a seventy and a temple president at one point or another and she served a mission so she KNOWS her stuff.

 

I told her about you, and how I feel about you, and the similarities I see, and she had to laugh. It's weird how similar you two are! Her name is Julianne but she goes by Juli. You both have a son on a mission and a son named Dallin. But at first she had to think twice when she found you on Facebook - which you HAVE to Facebook her soon. She said she Facebooked you but you haven't replied - because you look way to young to be my mom. She tells me both my parents look too young to have a 20 year old.

 

She is very active in church and for work she helps out as a substitute or something throughout the school district I think. She cooks the best Mexican food I've ever had and - between her and her husband - speaks Spanish all the time, and really, really well I might say. Dave is an insurance agent for State Farm and he's one of the freakin' awesomest guys I've ever met. They've got four kids - Elena, Marcus, Dallin, and Olivia - and they're all awesome as well. Elena is 23 and a hairstylist. She's the sweetest girl I've ever met and she cuts our hair. Marcus is conquering and empowering the whole of the population of Peru on his mission. Dallin just turned 18 the other day and reigns supreme on his high-flying pimpship as master and commander of all things good and awesome. Olivia is 16, a junior in high school, and super chill. I love this family and they take really exceptionally good care of us and keep us on the straight and narrow.

 

It's getting COLD here! Holy nuts it's not fun at all. I wear my boots - the sick ones that are like dad's - and they are as sexy and as smooth as my jacket, thermals, and that jacket though and it keeps me warm.

 

I'll tell you one thing, the priesthood is a HUGE blessing - literally! We gave a blessing to the kid who broke his collar bone and the kid who took the wrong pills - both of who are doing well now. We gave one to a woman in our ward - Katie N., single mother of 6 between the ages of 3 and 12, two of which are adopted and have severe medical issues - who's been sick and kinda stressed and broke down in her kitchen and cried the other day. She didn't ask for it at first but when her daughter saw us at her home she demanded we give her mom a blessing. It was just a blessing of comfort but still! The faith, which is the most important part of a priesthood blessing, associated with a blessing is unfreakindeniable. I LOVE it! Move mountains, build a boat, part a sea, heal the sick, raise the dead, amen and amen. When we were first getting to know them, one of her daughters - which she's fighting to adopt - is American Indian. She said she is Cherokee. I said I used to be Cherokee but then I got a Hyundai. It took a second to sink in but then Katie and my comp laughed hard.... Last night we went to visit a less-active member in the ward and outta the blue she asked us to give her a blessing. She's a Russian immigrant with four young kids, working full-time as a CNA at the hospital, and recently divorced with a hellacious lawsuit to deal with at the moment. I would like to refer any questions or comments to my schpeal on faith.

 

I got your postcard from Atlantic City and it looks like you guys had a lot of fun! I'm happy for you. How'd dad's gig go? How's the civilization? What did you learn at the conference? Did you have to pay for it or did Vernal? How's dad's job been? How's school? How have the kids been? I got a box in the mail from Dallin, Eric, and Spencer. Dallin wrote me and sent me candy. I'm glad to hear he's doing so well. I wish I could've been that busy in high school. Eric asked me what I want for Christmas. He drew pictures of several different things, said I need to circle one I want, and then send it back to him. I'm gonna ask him for a tie. Moose's letter went something like this:

HAOO AR U DOOEG

SIN HAOO YOU ARE DOOEG

GRAT [    ]    NOT GRAT [    ]

HAOO WAS HALLOWEEN

BAD HALLOWEEN [    ]    GRAT HALLOWEEN [    ]

FRUM SPENCER TOO TAYLOR

....Reminds me of Eric a little. I had to laugh. Out loud. A lot. Man I MISS those kids! I think about them all a lot. I got Kadi's letter too. I've got a good stack of letters on my desk I've got to reply to. I'll be doing that today.

Well transfers were today! Chuck and I are staying together. Sagiao and Ofe are the only ones from our district who're leaving. It was funny seeing Sagiao last night. He's been in this area his whole mission, 7anahalf months. He was SUPER area-trunkie and when he got his transfer call he was as giddy as a school girl. I'm happy for him. I'm really gonna miss seeing Ofe and Sagiao, both of who were in my district. There are two guys I'll always remember when I think about my mission.

In addition to that list of extraordinary gentlemen, I add the Poly-district. I don't remember whether or not I already mentioned them but just in case, the Hawaiian, Samoan, Tongan, etc. elders in the mission. They're all so full of humility and love and honesty, it's a blessing in my life to have known them. Every time I see one of them, they greet me like an old friend, they really make me feel welcome and accepted and loved. I'd follow any one of them as my leader.

 

Well I gotta go now. I love you so much, mom. I think about you all the time and I miss you. Thank you so much for all of your love and support. It's what keeps me going!

 

Your son,

tay

Don't panic - #2 didn't really happen!

11.07.11

Well what's new? I've resolved this to be my handwriting officially. I can't write in all caps because it looks like balls. I can't write in cursive because it looks like scrambled balls. I can't write in Reformed Egyptian because I don't know it and I doubt you have the Urim and Thummin. The logical option is to write like a middle-schooler. So let if be written. So let is be done.

Halloween Football - Missionary Style

Yesterday I had my second third EMT experience on the mish! The first was last Monday on Halloween at costume football. Every companionship, or most of them, in the valley come to play football at the parkas we do every peeday and a kid crashed into a Poly missionary - (there's a good handful of missionaries from Samoa, Hawaii, and several other islands in this mission and they are amillionbillion times better than white folk! and they are really big) - and broke (though I hope it's only dislocated) his collar bone. A blessing was given by an Elder dressed as Nacho Libre and then the wounded was helped off the field and into a car.

In my infinite wisdom and knowledge as a skilled emergency medical technician, I volunteered to go with him to the hospital. Poor guy .... I can't remember his first name but his last name is Carson. [the same name of another guy who's my freakin' hero and a super-sized STUD MUFFIN who got his mission call to conquer and enslave the good people of Houston, TX!] He'd returned two weeks prior from finishing his mission in Argentina - I assume with Madonna and Antonio Banderas - as was chillin' with a companionship in my old area.

We got him to the hospital and his mom showed up shortly thereafter. It was nice to see her because there's no one better to comfort and care for a stripling warrior than his mom and also she reminded me of my mom. She said the former Elder Carson is her oldest but if she claimed to be his older sister I'd've believed her. She was shorter and quite beautiful and obviously very sharp, very quick. She had that same look of dignity and control my mom has under pressure and slight worry in her eyes and in her pleasant, calm voice, the same I've seen all too often.

When that was done and dealt with we drove back to the park where I was greeted by a slightly pissed companion and a lecture prepared by my district leader. In my efforts to assist a fellow priesthood-holder, I had ditched my comp and forgot to tell him what I was doing, with whom I was with, and when I'd be back ... My bad. Lesson learned.

Then, my SECOND EMT experience, yesterday when an over-sized tour bus full of English-ignorant Chinamen collided head on with a two-trailer oil tanker on the interstate over a river near an elementary school. I turned on the "fasten seatbelts" and "no smoking" lights and AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" and got to work.

Shortly following that, Elder N and I and three other elders were riding with our beloved friend and chauffeur, Sis. S, to play ball at the mission office when she received a phone call from a friend in her ward - Mountain View, one of my old wards. The night before, her 10 year old son had accidentally taken three Valium pills instead of his regular meds. Yeah. Bad day. We showed up, gave him a blessing, loaded him in the car and sped off to the hospital. She was frantic and so I tried to care for her son the best I could so she could get herself together. Anyway we got them to the hospital, helped them in, and then went along on our merry way. I signed autographs, kissed babies, posed for pictures, authorized monuments to be built in my honor, was given a key to the city and played basketball.

In closing, I would like to extend a commitment your way! Will you commit to inviting any Laurel to young single adult to write me, your super-studly missionary?

The gospel's TRUE!
Love you,
elder tay

(transcribed and slightly edited by mom)

2011-10-25

Click here to view these pictures larger

Costume Football

Halloween was sweet! We got up that morning, and went to play football, as we always do on urinationday, and it was fun. It was costume football and most who came - all of our district plus many other missionaries in the nearby area, some 50 some odd dudes in all i think - dressed up. I've got a picture I'll send. It was a lot of fun! One of the things I'm loving about the mission is I'm learning new shtuff all the time, namely how to play sports. I've REALLY begun to come out of my shell and I'm trying new things. I still suck as bad as Hanksville when I play but I'm working on it!

The guys here are awesome. They're patient with me and when I ask them to help me out, they gladly do. There's this one guy, Elder Sagiao (SUNG-yow) who's in our district - he's the elder who's been in this area for the past sevenannahalf months who passed half the stake on to Norris and I - and he's a stud. I gotta go now but I'll send a letter tomorrow. Love you!

 

tay

P-Day Eve

Here I am! Rock me like a hurricane! (I'm not in Utah anymore so I can pronounce it the way it was meant to be pronounced and not "hurrakin") Dahahaha....

 

Well I cannot deny life is good! I'm in my new area - Meridian West 2 of the Meridian Idaho West Stake, covering the Ten Mile, Cherry Lane, Perigrine, and Autumn Faire wards - and though progress is slow, it is steady. My new comp, Elder Christopher Norris - a 6'6" Hawaiian from Valencia, CA - and I are getting along very well. He minds his space and I mind mine and it's awesome! He's a really good guy. He's got an amazing testimony and likes to make time to work and time to play. He's a freakin' stud muffin. I must confess I'm enjoying my first "P-Day Eve" and it's been quite the thrill! We got a ride from our area in Meridian to my old area, which is 10 minutes away, Boise North - where Elder Norris first served and a number of other mercenaries are near, making 8 fine rogues in all - last night and we stayed up late... While the Missionary Handbook doesn't exactly support our wileyness, I feel it's been really good for me. In seeing and talking to other missionaries who are much older and wiser than I, I've learned a lot about what I should do to become a better missionator. Also in meeting more missionaries, I've made more friends and I feel a lot more support. I want to surround myself with these kinda friends even after the mission. I have no intention of making these haberdasheries and shenanigans a regular habit but I am glad I did it.

 

In Meridian, we're staying with sister Sheila B.. Sheila an older gal who lives by herself and enjoys the company of her granddaughter and her son-in-law 4 to 5 days out of every week. I think she enjoys having us there because she has a more receptive audience. She doesn't - or ever has - take crap offa nobody and having her to impart of her wisdom and knowledge is a nice disruption to the monotony. She tells us stories of her in high school when she was friends with every single person in the class because she allowed her classmates the right "to make jackasses of themselves" while she maintained her own standards. She was told that she set the tone for her whole class... Needless to say we're living with one tough cookie.

 

We get plenty of support from all the ward members. (And on a minor note, they have many more attractive daughters than my last area) I'd be willing to bet we'd have a lot more success if we'd better utilize that support. The verse "ask and it shall be given, knock and it shall be opened, ring bell for service" deserves a whole PANTLOAD more credit than it gets. You would not believe how effective simply asking can be! Unfreakingbelievable and extremely beneficial for this work. More people than less are more than willing to give if you'd just kindly ask. A real blessing indeed. We're fed well every night and I really think they like us. What's nice about Elder Norris and I is the members see us every day as opposed to once every couple of months. The missionaries here before us had to cover the whole stake, all eight wards, and it was hard for them to give everyone the attention they need. What's nice about this is the area was split at the beginning of the transfer so now the area has two sets of missionaries, so now each ward gets more individual attention. I think it was the Perigrine ward that said they haven't had a convert baptism in 5 or 6 years. Yeah. There is work to be done. What makes it hard is Elder Norris and I have to build from the ground up, it seems, because work before was scarce and we're both brand freaking new to the area. There's unbelievable potential here for awesomeness. The trick is trying to figure out what we're dealing with.

 

We don't really have any solid alligators yet, just a good-sized list of less-active members. We've got a couple of potential alligators but it's still a working progress. I'm ok with this because I feel it's more important to establish a good relationship with the members than to get to work dunking infidels and pagans and heathens. Our ticket to success will be through the members because they are the support in the area, they are going to have to take care of whoever we convert, and we're not going to be here forever. If we find some folks, befriend them, teach them, convert them, are given their daughters and their land and livestock, dunk them, and then LEAVE, the effort would have all be for naught UNLESS they've got a foundation and friends with the members and the ward. How the heck are we gonna do that if we're not the members buddies in the first place? So you see? It's all part of the plan...

 

 Oooh while I'm thinking about it, Elder Norris has got a pocket-size set of the Book of Mormon, the New Testament, the Pearl of Great Price and the D&C, and the Gospel Principles books. I think he said they're military issue. Where would I find the set? I've got the Book of Mormon but I'd like to find the rest of the set. Having copies apart from my good set is convenient for studying and I can write thoughts and impressions in the book ya know?

 

Well I've gotta wrap this up it's time to go. I want you guys to know that I love you AND I'm not just saying it. For those of you who knew me well know I was very passive aggressive - tell you one thing and do another out of laziness and gay - and I was a master BSer. I am pleased to inform EVERYONE that is no longer the case. I prove my love and appreciation for you every day as I wake up early, do up my top button, keep my sleeves rolled down, ride my bike in the cold and the hot, take rejection with a smile, pray like crazy, study 'til want to burn the white handbook, and host illegal cock-fights in a warehouse downtown. You ask me "Is it true?" And I reply "Yes. As God liveth and as I live. Except for the last part."

 

The gospel is true. I know I'm doing what He would have me do. This is why God has preserved me.

 

Sincerely,

freakin' the studliest muffin you ever saw,

tay