big 'ol thank you

Before anything else, I gotta send out a great big ol' THANK YOU to
everyone who reads this. Fist and foremost, there's my family. Mom and
Dad, you twos are responsible for anything virtuous, lovely, or of
good report I've ever had in my life. You taught me everything I know
and set the bedrock foundation for the rest of my life. Dallin, I love
you and respect you and I'm extremely grateful for your willingness
and determination to serve my country. Kadi, I'm grateful for the
laughs and the packages and the "Once you go gay, that's where you
stay. Stay straight!" postcard. Eric and Spencer, I think about you
guys every day and I miss you and as soon as I get back, we're going
out for drinks. 

For all the extended family - Petty's, Nunn's, Ehlers'
- for cheering me on and always being there with cards on holidays and
birthdays and new recipes and camping trips and movie nights and
motorcycles and late nights and working at a hospital and love and
cash and memories and scrapbooks and shooting and concerts and Papa
John's even when I'm outa money and road trips and blablablabla. For
all the friends and their families along the way, thanks for taking me
in like one of your own. For the crew at Cafe Diablo, thanks for
breaking me and building me and teaching me all about friendship and
work ethic and the goodness in the world. For every person I ever knew
all throughout Arizona and Utah, thanks for caring and worrying and
putting up with me and working me for the past 20 years. For all
ya'lls I'm dealing with in Idaho, thanks for learnin' me how to be a
real man - beater of the bad guys and defender of the faith. Buena
vida, baby.
 
In recent news, by the end of this month, 29 elders will be going
home. That's roughly 15% of the whole mission. Holy balls. Things are
gonna CHANGE around here. PCan's gonna do some shufflin and chances
are stakes that have 2 sets of mercenaries will only have one now. For
example, my stake, Meridian East, will have 2 elders covering 7 wards
instead of 2 elders covering 4 and 2 elders covering 3. There will be
PANTLOADS of work going undone because supply will be less than
demand. Quality will decrease because quantity will decrease. Behold,
the days come, saith the Lord God, that I will send a famine in the
land, not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing
the ELDERS 'cause there be NO MO'!